Standing in front of a Boy,
Asking Him to love Her."
-- Nothing Hill
Isn't this how we all feel at one point or another? The need to be accepted and loved is overwhelming... nearly, breath taking. In some ways, I think women's lib set us up for a fall. Sure we've gained a lot of privileges, but at what cost? Is it really necessary for women to be on the same level as men? No, I don't think so. Which, I find to be quite humorous that I'm even talking about this. Not only is this not even what I wanted to write about, but also, I don't think I knew I had these feelings until I read them on the screen.
Sometimes my fingers do my thinking for me. If I analyze my words, I tend to over think a theme. But to freely allow my fingers to glide over the keys... that's when my true feelings come out. (Try it some time. Open up Word and just start typing. Don't edit yourself. Write about whatever is going on with you. You'll be surprised, not only by what comes out of you, but also how you'll feel after. Trust me.)
I get so frustrated with men and how they treat women. Has anyone else noticed this? Perhaps it was the way they were raised? Perhaps they don't know any better? Or perhaps, society has taught them to have different values than what was once considered "gentlemanly". Recently, I've noticed a shift in how I'm treated as a lady. For instance, I rarely see men open doors for a woman. Heck, even continue to hold it open as they walk through in front of us. (I honestly don't mean this to be "guy bashing" type of post, I have a point, I promise.)
The only problem with this? We're partly to blame. We wanted to be independent. We wanted to stand on our own two feet. Reminds me of that song from, "Annie Get Your Gun": Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything, Better than you.
I wasn't alive for the shift in women's lib, but I would assume the men resisted the change as much as the women thought they wanted it. Time and time again, I'm sure women pushed forward for change (we're quite persistent after all). But it's my guess that if those women back then, saw how things are now, they might have thought differently.
I don't mean to say that all women are good for is "birthing babies", but I do think we should allow a man to lead every once and a while. Allow a man to be a man. If you're married, your husband's head of the household. If you're dating or single, God and your Dad are your authority.
OK, I think I'm digressing from my original point. I brought up all this because I'm upset with one of my best friends. We've been friends forever. We used to write LONG letters to each other and talk all the time. But within the last year or so, we rarely talk. The occasional phone call, a letter every few months, but I miss the connection we used to have. While I realize some friendships are seasonal, I didn't think ours was. I thought I was different. So, I can't help but get my feelings hurt when I'm treated this way. Oh, I know they don't intentionally set out to hurt me, it's just a byproduct. But it doesn't mean it hurts me any less.
I wrote a letter, basically explaining how this was making me feel. I also said, I don't know how you can maintain a friendship with only occasional communication. In that moment, Jesus spoke to me. "My dear, precious Child. This is exactly the way I feel about you and Me. I long to spend time with you too. I can't wait for the chance to sit with you and hear about your day. But you've been so busy lately. I wait and wait... why haven't you been spending any time with Me? Do you not love me?" In that moment, with tears in my eyes (as they are now), I realized my mistake. I took for granted God's "omnipresence". Just because He's always around, doesn't mean I'm spending quality time with Him.
I need self-discipline to make time for Him, as He deserves. I do so enjoy it too. I'm just a goober and make excuses. Why? Several years ago, I was inspired to write VOTDs (verses of the day). I can't tell you how much I grew during that time!! It was amazing. Why oh why did I stop? I can't give you an answer. What I can say is that God's given me this really unique way at looking at the world. He teaches me through seemingly random events in my life as well as through the lyrics in songs. (I listen to my iPod all day at work.) I'm able to translate these things into life lessons, which in turn I share with others. I never know who might read them. All I know is that I'm obeying when I write about Him.
I pray in the coming weeks and months, you'll see nothing but God through this blog. I pray you'll be encouraged from this girl's ramblings. And I pray, together, we'll grow closer to Him.