Monday, June 29, 2009

Each Day Brims With Your Beauty

I run for dear life to God, I'll never live to regret it.
Do what you do so well:
get me out of this mess and up on my feet.
Put your ear to the ground and listen,
give me space for salvation.
Be a guest room where I can retreat;
you said your door was always open!
You're my salvation—my vast, granite fortress.

My God, free me from the grip of Wicked,
from the clutch of Bad and Bully.
You keep me going when times are tough—
my bedrock, God, since my childhood.
I've hung on you from the day of my birth,
the day you took me from the cradle;
I'll never run out of praise.
Many gasp in alarm when they see me,
but you take me in stride.

Just as each day brims with your beauty,
my mouth brims with praise.
But don't turn me out to pasture when I'm old
or put me on the shelf when I can't pull my weight.
My enemies are talking behind my back,
watching for their chance to knife me.
The gossip is: "God has abandoned him.
Pounce on him now; no one will help him."

God, don't just watch from the sidelines.
Come on! Run to my side!
My accusers—make them lose face.
Those out to get me—make them look
Like idiots, while I stretch out, reaching for you,
and daily add praise to praise.
I'll write the book on your righteousness,
talk up your salvation the livelong day,
never run out of good things to write or say.
I come in the power of the Lord God,
I post signs marking his right-of-way.

You got me when I was an unformed youth,
God, and taught me everything I know.
Now I'm telling the world your wonders;
I'll keep at it until I'm old and gray.
God, don't walk off and leave me
until I get out the news
Of your strong right arm to this world,
news of your power to the world yet to come,
Your famous and righteous
ways, O God.
God, you've done it all!
Who is quite like you?
You, who made me stare trouble in the face,
Turn me around;
Now let me look life in the face.
I've been to the bottom;
Bring me up, streaming with honors;
turn to me, be tender to me,
And I'll take up the lute and thank you
to the tune of your faithfulness, God.
I'll make music for you on a harp,
Holy One of Israel.
When I open up in song to you,
I let out lungsful of praise,
my rescued life a song.
All day long I'm chanting
about you and your righteous ways,
While those who tried to do me in
slink off looking ashamed.
Psalm 71 (The Message)

Friday, June 19, 2009

What Does Your Lipstick Say About You?

Have you ever looked at the tip of your chap stick or lipstick and wondered, hmmm, why does mine look different from my friend's? Why is hers flat, while mine is pointed? Well I sure have! My friend Amy teases me about the head of my chap stick. I always try to keep it flat, but before I know it, it looks something like this. My sister's looks completely different too, as does my mom's. To each her own, I suppose.

A few years ago, someone gave me a Lipstick Personality Profile, which I found to be quite interesting! Although, the look of mine doesn't really resemble any of the ones featured, but it's most like two. Why don't you pull out your chap stick/lipstick of choice and check out this quiz with me.

Similar to the Original Shape
Great follower
Abides by the rules
Does not like too much attention
A little self-conscious
Somewhat reserved
Likes a schedule
May occasionally color hair for fun

Flat Top
Has high morals
To the point
Needs approval
Careful about appearance
Very dependable
Quick minded

Sharp-Angled Tip
Very opinionated
High spirited
Dislikes schedules
Selective of friends
Likes attention
Can be argumentative

Flat Top Concave
Makes friends easily
Makes a good detective
Likes to probe

Rounded, Smooth Tip
The peacemaker
Very steady
Pleasant to be around

Sharp Angles on Both Sides
Seeks attention
Has a big ego
Loves Life
Looks for the easy way

Rounded Tip to a Point
A "doer"
Can give orders easily
Sometimes exaggerates
Can be stubborn over little things
Needs people around

Sharp-angled But Curved Tip
Loves attention
Falls in love easily
Needs a schedule but dislikes one

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Handwriting 101

What does your handwriting say about you? How you craft letters and words can indicate more than 5,000 different personality traits, according to the science of graphology, also known as handwriting analysis. To introduce students to the field, graphologist Kathi McKnight (the president of the Rocky Mountain Graphology Association) has them write "She sells seashells by the seashore" in cursive. Why cursive? Graphologist say it gives them a better read on a person. Try writing the same sentence now (even if you usually print), then see how graphologist might characterize you and whether you (or your friends) agree.

Go ahead... Grab a piece of paper and write it out. I did it three times, to get a good overview of it, especially since I ALWAYS use print. I even forgot how to make some of the letters! I'm going to give you all the "answers" but mine will be in italics. See if you agree with both yours and my results!

If your writing slants...
To the right: You are open to the world around you and like to socialize with other people.
To the left: You generally like to work alone or behind the scenes. If you are right-handed and your handwriting slants to the left, you may be expressing rebellion.
Not at all: You tend to be logical and practical. You are guarded with your emotions. [Yes, this is like me.]

If the size of your letters is...
Large: You have a big personality. Many celebrities have large handwriting. It may suggest that you are outgoing and like the limelight. [Not me at all.]
Small: You are focused and can concentrate easily. You tend to be introspective and shy.
Average: You are well-adjusted and adaptable.

If your loops are...
Closed for L (meaning the upstroke overlaps the down stroke): Feeling tense? This implies you are restricting yourself in some way.
Full for L: You are spontaneous and relaxed and find it easy to express yourself. [Yes! Though, expression doesn't always come easily.]
Closed for E: You tend to be skeptical and are unswayed by emotional arguments.
Open for E: You have an open mind and enjoy trying new things. [Yes, I always say, "I'll try anything once."]

If your S's are...
Round: You are a people-pleaser and seek compromise. You avoid confrontation.
Pointy: You are intellectually probing and like to study new things. The higher and pointier the peaks, the more ambitious you are. [Yes, this is me. I never really realized how ambitious I am, but once I make my mind up to do something, there's nothing that can stop me. Wait, maybe that's just me being stubborn and strong-willed? :) ]
Open at the bottom: You might not be following your heart. For example, you always wanted to be an artist, but you have a career in finance.
Printed: You are versatile.

What did you learn about yourself? Let me know, will you?

*Taken from REAL SIMPLE, July 2009 issue, p120.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


"But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives." 1 Peter 2:9-12 (The Message)

Friday, June 12, 2009

"My Person"

The past week or so, I've been waking up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream. I don't have bad dreams often, so I'm not sure what's up. The past two nights, just before I go to sleep, I say outloud, "Please dream something good. Please let me get through the night without a nightmare; maybe even let me dream about a boy." Well, last night I dreamed about a boy! In fact, my dream felt so much like real life that when I woke up, that was my nightmare since none of it was true. Ironic, huh?

My dream was about DB whom I haven't seen in forever; ten years or so. Who knows what was up with my subconscious last night. I tried desperately all day to remember the details, but as the day progressed, it just seems surreal now. In fact, when my alarm went off this morning and ever seven minutes after for the next thirty minutes, I was able to keep my dream going. As if I could tangible hang on to the last bit of that reality. When I finally got out of bed, I was in a funk. It just seemed so real!! I wanted it to be real!

Like I said, I don't remember all the details, but somehow DB and I ran into each other after all these years. We got to talking about life and I got my usual chatty self. It just felt right. He got me. We clicked. We hugged goodbye and I just 'knew' that he was "the one". (I only just thought of this, but my friend and I were talking about and wondering how people know when they meet "the one", that they are indeed "the one". I'm sure that conversation enfluenced my subconscious a little. But anyway... )

It all felt so natural, not the way I usually am with boys. All my life, I had more friends who were boys than girls, but somewhere along the lines that changed. Maybe when I grew breasts. No, just kidding. I tend to feel awkward, not sure what to say or do; not sure what's expected of me. But in my dream, I was perfectly at peace. Felt completely comfortable and normal. Later in the dream, I gave DB a call and apologized for rambling on and on and he said, "Don't apologize, I thought it was the cutest thing ever." He then went into a bit of a monologue about how great I am and how glad he was to have run into me. But then I woke up.

DB lives on the other side of the world and last I heard was engaged... I wonder what that all means?

Which brings me to "my person". On Grey's Anatomy, Cristina Yang coined this expression by talking about her "person", Meredith Grey, and said, "She's my person. If I murdered someone, she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She's my person." I felt like DB was "my person" and I was like finally!! It's happened to me too! But alas, it was but a dream.

'Tis the season for engagements. It seems girls are dropping like flies... Which, is great! I really am so happy for them. But for me, it's a little bittersweet. I wonder when my time will come? I wonder how much longer I'll have to wait. I feel like, the longer I'm single, the harder marriage will be. I'm becoming more and more independant, plus I'm stubborn too, usually to a fault.

I may put on a tough-girl image, but I'm an ooey-goey romantic at heart. I love to watch sappy chick flicks. I cry at Hallmark commercials. The whole nine yards! But I can't help but feel as though something is missing. I know I can really only ever find true completion within Jesus, but I have to wonder why He would create me with these specifics dreams and desires if He wasn't going to fulfill them someday... The question is when? Will I be an old woman like Sarah in the Bible? I wonder about these things. Obviously, my timing isn't God's. I want His best for my life and refuse to settle; so I guess I'll continue trying to be patient for now.

I can't wait to meet "my person"!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


To treat with affection and tenderness; hold dear
To keep fondly in mind; entertain
To protect and love (a person)
To keep (a hope, idea etc) in the mind

"Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful conditions, all heavenly environment." James Allen

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I am Wholly Yours

I am full of earth
You are heaven’s worth
I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity
You are everything that is bright and clean
The antonym of me
You are divinity
But a certain sign of grace is this
From a broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I wanna be holy like You are

You are everything that is bright and clean
And You’re covering me with Your majesty
And the truest sign of grace was this
From wounded hands redemption fell down
Liberating man

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to be holy like You are

But the harder I try the more clearly can I feel
The depth of our fall and the weight of it all
And so this might could be the most impossible thing
Your grandness in me making me clean

Glory, hallelujah
Glory, glory, hallelujah
You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to be holy, holy God

So here I am, all of me
Finally everything
Wholly, wholly, wholly
I am wholly, wholly, wholly
I am wholly, wholly, wholly Yours

I am wholly Yours

I am full of earth and dirt and You

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hope Rises

The funny thing about depression is that it hits when there's seemingly no reason for it. OK, maybe not "haha" funny or "ouch-I-hit-my-funny-bone" funny, but maybe just interesting. I was journaling last night and contrary to popular belief, I NEVER journal. It just seems so self-involved, but perhaps that's the point. I have a hard time with journaling. I don't know what to say, which is crazy, since I have A LOT to say at any given moment. However, actually giving a voice to the rumblings in my mind is a completely different matter.

My friend Sybil gave it to me for my 24th birthday, but it was such a neat journal, I didn't want to mess it up by saying stupid things. It had only been written in two times. But it was quite comical to read back over those entries. Although I remember what I wrote about, I hardly remember that girl anymore. She was pretty boy-crazy in her own shy and quiet way. She had a lot of insecurities and was far too analytical for her own good. Come to think of it, not much has changed.. but in a strange way, everything has.

For me, there's no real trigger for my depression. It's not that I'm sad all the time or crying or look like what one would typically think of when you think of a depressed person. I'm just... not myself. Do you think it's possible for someone to literally drown in their own thoughts? I know I can get so caught up within myself that I can arrive home and not remember driving there. (Scary, I know.)

God's been so good to me! He's blessed with more than I deserve! I often question why He does what He does in my life. Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like because I've allowed my human depravity to get in the way of serving Him, that one day something bad is going to happen. I realize it's silly to think that way. I suppose it's the correlation between God the Father and my Parents.

When I was little, there was immediate reprecussion for my bad behavior. (Usually, an immediate spanking where ever they could reach, and then the 'real' spanking once we got home.) It's that later spanking I'm referring to here. I knew it was coming and I dreaded it. Now, in my adult life, I suppose I think the same will happen with God. It's not that's I've done anything so horrible, I'm just burdened by the mere fact that He's not first in my life.

I think, well, because I didn't do such-and-such, then He's not going to give me the desires of my heart. Or because this happened, then I won't get this. While I don't really believe that a relationship with Jesus is a "if/then" statement, I do think there's some truth to that theory.

I have head knowledge that He wouldn't have given me these desires if He wasn't going to fulfill them in His timing. But my heart tends to forget that and sink in the sea of doubt, much like Peter did while walking on the water to Jesus. When I take my eyes off of Him, even if for one moment, I begin to sink.

The other night I went to a Hillsong United worship concert. I knew it would be incredible. I knew God would touch lives, including my own. I also knew it would be an amazing experience. Those who went know exactly what I'm talking about. Walking into the building, I saw this:

There was an energy of expectant excitement. I couldn't wait for the night to begin! I couldn't wait to worship King Jesus with hundreds of others! It took me a little while to let things go and not worry about what was going on around me and just worship. It was H-O-T HOT, which was a huge distraction at first, but I didn't let it bother me too much. Looking around the church, seeing all the different styles of worship... arms lifted high, some jumping up and down, clapping, dancing, swaying back and forth. There was free reign to give an outward expression of our inward joy. Once I finally let go, I was one of those ones jumping around. It was incredibly surreal, amazing, encouraging and I think that's what Heaven's going to be like. Wow!

Time stood still as we worshipped at the feet of Jesus. All across the auditorium... Promises were made.... Lives were radically changed.... And hope rose.

When my focus is solely on Him alone, nothing else matters. I wish it was that easy to have that Heavenly perspective all the time. I believe I'd live my life a lot different. Or at least, one would hope. The question remains, how do I continue to allow hope to rise without unexpected depression clouds getting in the way? That my friend, is a work in progress... much like myself. :-)