What had happened was...

...a series of unfortunate events, culminating with a rather unproductive Wal*Mart trip. But let me start back at the beginning. Actually, this whole mid-adventure could have been avoided had I gone to the store on Sunday like I'd planned. However, that's neither here nor there.

My hair cut appointment got cancelled, so I had unexpected time after work. I desperately needed to go grocery shopping; just like Old Mother's Hubbard cupboards, mine were bare as well. I really wish I wouldn't wait so long between Wal*Mart trips, but I know they will be costly and I hate spending money on food.

As I'm sitting in traffic, I realize there's no time like the present. Although, I realize my grocery list and coupons are at home. I know me. If I go home, I won't want to leave again. I had a pretty good idea what I needed (IE out of everything), so I figured it would be OK. Those were my first two mistakes.

If my like were like The Truman Show, I honestly think I might have really good ratings. Things just happen to me. I don't believe in luck, nor fate, so I don't know what to tell you. But I've come to see it as comical. I say that because of what's about to happen next (and really the whole trip). I got a cart and started to wheel it in the store, but that's when I noticed the squeaking... and everyone starring at me. Granted, I'm overly sensitive, I know this. But honestly, I knew people really were staring at me. So, I head back to the carts and pick out a new one. This cart has its own problems... a strong left pull. I wrongly thought, this is no big deal; it'll be fine. (Read: I should have exchanged it one more time.) Mistake #3.

I needed items from both sides of the store: tooth paste, hair rubber bands (which I feel like I just bought, but I can never find any; what's that about anyway?), but as I mentioned before I also needed food. Did I mention I was hungry? Mistake #4

Why is it that Wal*Mart often has everything you don't need, yet nothing you want? Many of the normal things I purchase, they were out of. I'd rather go without than work with something else. (I'm referring to my face wash here. Not that you cared, but in case you were wondering. Oh, also my shampoo/conditioner too. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. Advertising companies get us hooked on something, then they rip the rug out from underneath us and make us get used to something new....) Oops, sorry, obviously, I hit a sensitive nerve with myself.

I had a Dad Question and called home, but got Mom; which was totally fine as it was her birthday today. I got to ramble to her a bit and hear about her day as well. But before I knew it, I'd not only wandered from my directive means of shopping (IE get what I need and get out), but I was also struggling with my left-handed cart, steering one-handed. Mistake #5

Back on track I headed towards the food part of the store. Normally, I hit all the inner isles, then come back and get all my refrigerated/freezer items. But I was already tired, hungry and oh yeah, did I mention I needed to use the restroom? Oh man. So, I foolishly did everything at once - without a list - and no coupons! Let me tell you, it was a disaster waiting to happen! Mistake #6

I really wanted to buy some fresh fruit, like a cantaloupe. Mom said to smell the bottom of it and 'feel it'. I felt like a complete doofus, especially having no idea if what I was doing was right. Then I remembered, I have no time to waste, things are thawing; no time to spare. I threw out that idea and headed for the check out isles. About that time, I realized, I really have no idea what's in my cart. Do I have lunch items? Um, not really. Do I have stuff to make dinners? Not so much. Did I get the Brita filters? Yes. At least, I remembered something.

I get home and unpack all the groceries, only to discover that I'm going to have to go back another day. But we knew that was going to happen from the beginning of the story, didn't we? Oh and I had one last mistake. I was looking over my receipt and realized I'd left my case of Diet Mt. Dew underneath the cart. Dang it! Either someone got something free, or they just brought it back in the store. Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall and see who the honest people are? Oh well. Serves me right. I weened myself off caffeine, now I'm back on the wagon.

Despite my many mistakes, I actually found some things I needed like: windshield wiper fluid, a watering can, 2000 Flushes, Chap stick, and coin wrappers (which by the way, once I got settled, I rolled coins = $31.50).

Now I need to figure out what I'm going to wear to work, brush my teeth and get to bed. Happy trails!