Today I woke up Grumpy. Usually I can pull myself out of a funk by listening to music on the way to work. But... it didn't work. Then, while at work, every little thing irritated me. There's no reason to expand on those reasons; not only will it frustrate me all over again, but really, what good does that do? Grin and bare it. That's what I did. But around 2, with the dark and stormy cloud still hanging over my head, I brought out my iPod and tried again. Unlike the last time, I scrolled the to the Christian genre. Nearly immediately, I became a different person. Be-bopping my head, grooving to Kirk Franklin. He did my body some good.
During those times of, "God, what in the world are you up to? Why am I here at this job? I feel like my talents are being squandered here. Please show me the way." There's a still, quiet voice which says, "Whatever you do, do it for the glory of God. Me. Child, you work for Me, not man." I silently whine in my head, which never helps by the way, but I think He understands my need to vent. Am I any closer to figuring out what's going on? No, but at least my focus has been, well focused back on Him. If only a split second, it was enough to plant a seed. The next time He might throw me a little fertilizer or some water; you never know with God. But I know one thing for sure, NO MATTER what I do, My Father NEVER stops loving me. What a comfort, huh?
Despite my confused life state right now, I'm so thankful for my group of blog friends. What a difference you've made in my life!! I just wanted to stop and take a moment to thank you for all your encouragement! You are a blessing to me!
When I first began this blog, I wasn't sure what would become of it. Was I doing it merely to obey God? Was I doing it to bring forth the overflowing wellspring deep within me? Was I doing it so that others would read what I had to say? Yes. To all three. But more importantly, I came to a point where I was like, God you ask me to do crazy things all the time. I'm just going to trust you and see what happens. I had to clean out the self-doubt so I could get on the other side and reap the benefits. Now, months later, all you wonderful women comment about things going on in my life. You share with me your thoughts and feelings and we, despite our often vast different life stages, connect on this amazing level which only our Father could set up. Pretty amazing if you ask me.
When thinking about this fact earlier, I started to sing the song, "Thank You". In my own way, thanking all you ladies out there. But in that same moment, thanking Him for allowing me this opportunity to use one of my passions for His glory. I'm a vessel, Lord. Fill me up!!
You never know how the things you go through, will be filtered into writing, to share with someone else. If there ever were a video production team following me around on a daily basis, let me tell you, you'd have some interesting TV. Stuff happens to me all the time. More often than not, I write about those things. Which will create this ripple affect within comments. I think it's funny. As women, we often think we are the only ones going through such and such. But if we'll just stop and take a look around us, I'm sure many others are dealing with the same things. Satan likes to trick us. Don't listen. Your words are powerful... please continue to share your life story with us. I look forward to reading about your life!!