Monday, March 12, 2012

Day One

I've been on a weight loss journey pretty much since the day I was born.  Of course, as a baby a little pudge is cute.  Any other age, not so much.  I've struggled with being self conscious and how I view myself for as long as I can remember.  I've been teased and made fun of which makes me wonder how I would be different if there weren't mean kids out there.  But that's neither here nor there. 

I tend to take on and tackle new projects as if I'm in it for the long haul, but weeks, sometimes days into it I find that it's too hard or quit all together.  I'm not proud of this, but I wanted to share a little back story.

Fast forward to present day.  I am not happy with what I see in the mirror.  Even though my precious boyfriend loves me for who I am, not what I look like or what he wants me to look like.  In fact, as long as I'm happy, he doesn't care what I look like.  But until I'm happy and will be OK with the girl I see in the mirror, I'll never truly be happy. 

There's a skinny girl deep down inside me.  I know because I'm always shocked to see what I really look like in pictures.  Crazily enough, I see myself different, though I'm still sad.  So, OK, what's a girl gotta do to change this?  Apparently something drastic.

Anyone who knows and loves me knows that I l-o-v-e sleep and love to sleep in, so in the past when friends would suggest I wake up early to get a work out in, never really crossed my mind...... until yesterday.  Jason and I were having lunch at Moe's (Welcome to Moe's!!) when we were talking about working out and such.  He offhandedly suggested we could get in a good workout before work, but.... it would have to be at 5AM!!  (Nearly TWO hours earlier than I'm used to waking up.)  Oy!

We used to work out together after work, but one thing led to another and the next thing you know, we're excusing our way out of working out.  Honestly, a gym is so boring and monotonous and for a recovering A.D.D. girl, I needed more.  I need more. 

My girlfriend in ATL has been working out with this new program called Turbo Fire.  She's had AMAZING results over the past eight weeks which leads me to believe there's hope for me!  I've already been thinking about buying something like ZUMBA; which looks amazingly fun.  My theory is, if you're having fun while working out, you don't realize it's hard work, because you're having so much fun. 

After talking it over some of the different options with Jason and after I got over the shock of potentially waking up before 5am to work out, I started to seriously consider this plan.  He said, "If you commit to waking up early every morning for a week or two, then we'll both know you're serious about making a change.  Besides, half the challenge for the first week is simply waking up!" (My paraphrasing) 

He just looked at me over lunch and said, "Who is this girl to even consider this?"  I'm willing to give it a try... plus, I get to see my love every morning and work out with him as well.  Seems like a fair trade off.  Fast forward to this morning at 4:57AM when I get a text from Jason, "Are you up yet?"  Did he seriously think I'd be awake before 5am?  :)  To my credit, I rolled out of bed, got dressed and then snuggled back under my still warm covers waiting for him to officially arrive. 

We got started about 5:15 and worked out with Bob Harper from the Biggest Loser.  Yoga at 5 in the morning is both perfect and extremely hard.  We sweated, grunted, complained (me), stretched, did a few push ups and many different yoga posses that has me sore tonight.  I even lost my balance...twice...and fell over, but I got back up and continued.  I was so proud of myself!  I AM so proud of myself.

I feel like this time it's different.  I feel like the change will stick this time.  I'm ready to do this for me, for my health, for my future.  Last year, God taught me all about being the Active Ingredient (which is why you didn't hear from me much), but this year's theme is: Create Something Beautiful.  I do believe I'm the something that's going to be even more beautiful than I already am.  My hope is to daily blog and write more about my journey.

I'm Proud of Myself Today Because... I actually got up at 5AM and worked out!
Today's Accomplishment: no Subway cookies and extra lettuce and spinach on sandwich
Tomorrow's Goals: drink more water; leave "can't" out of the workout

Now, I would love to write more, but alas 5AM come VERY early.  My goal is to be asleep before 10pm.  I don't think that will be very difficult.  I'm v-e-r-y sleepy and about to pass out.

Happy Trails, my friends.

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