Reading Fears

Recently I watched "In Her Shoes". There's a part in the story line when Maggie (Cameron Diaz) is asked by a patient to read some poetry. She considered herself to be a slow reader and was embarrassed to read aloud. After some convincing, she began. This brought back vivid memories from elementary school We would all take turns reading aloud to the class. The teacher would have us move to the next person after every paragraph. I distinctly remember counting the person to paragraph ratio and praying my paragraph was small. I've never really liked speaking in front of people, but especially reading. I too was a slow reader.

When Grant came along I was worried about reading books to him. I was afraid of what he might think. Granted, when we started to read to him, he was just a baby. But none the less, it was a real fear. Reading books quickly became one of his favorite things to do (expect when he was put on book restriction for chewing the pages). I realized then that he didn't care what I sounded like. He only liked hanging out with Aunt Mer! Actually, the more I read to him, the more comfortable I became reading out loud. Without his knowledge, he helped me get over that fear. I tell you what, this year has been all about conquering fears.

Does 24 Really Equal 24?

Can someone explain to me why three sets of eight hurt way more than two sets of twelve? For the past month, I've been lifting the same amount of weight and reps, but man, those last set of 8 nearly kill me. OK, yes, that's a tad over dramatic. It just hurts a lot. Why is that? Anyone have a logical explanation?

Tonight was the first time I've been able to go work in a week since being sick. Man, I missed it! I really would have loved to do more, but I didn't want to push myself right away. Allow my body to heal a bit more before I get back in the zone. I lifted for an hour... all but one of my machines. I call it "superman". I strongly dislike it. Not because it hurts - it does - but I always feel like every one's looking at me. You see, you have to lie down on this one, with your bottom sticking up in the air. It just makes me so self-conscious. I'm sure it's all in my head.

I was lamenting to myself, yes, I was talking to myself. I do that a lot. Self, I said. Yes, you're not losing weight, but you haven't gained any either! I'm in the middle of my 4Th month at the Y and I've lost at least a whole pant size. That says progress to me! Why does it always have to be about what the scale says? I guess I just want to drop big numbers like the contestants on The Biggest Loser. But, let's face it, I'm sure they work out crazy hours a day and get no treats within their diet. I bet if I fully committed I'd see drastic changes too... am I ready for that yet though?

I asked Simon (the athletic trainer on duty, also the one who's taught me how to use everything) about why I'm not losing weight like I'd like to be. Basically he said it's just hard for girls to lose weight. Thanks, Simon! Why is it so easy for us to put ON the weight, but not take it OFF? Explanations anyone?

I'm a master at sabatauze (I have no idea how to spell that!) in my life. It's best not to set the standard too high, so if I fail, I don't fall too far. Gosh, that sounds so horrible for me to say that "out loud", but in some respects, it's honestly true. It's hard to recover from disappointing myself. I don't know if that makes me weird or not. You see, I play tricks with myself. Reverse psychology in a sense. OK, you must think I'm crazy. Anyway, whatever works, right?

What it boils down to, is I'm really proud of myself. What I've accomplished thus far is great! I'm definitely more self confident. It's changing me... and I love it. Look out world, here I come!!

$40

Have you ever watched Rachel Ray's $40 a Day show on the Food Network? The premise, like the title says, she attemps to eat three separate meals (including tip) in one day on $40. Let's face it people, this can't be easy. In fact, $40 doesn't go as far as it used to. Wow, did I really just say that? How old am I? 80?

I bring up this fact because my work gave all the employee's either $40 to Wal-mart or HoneyBaked Ham. There were a few things I wanted at Wal-mart so I chose that. It wasn't until tonight, when semi-wandering through the isles, that I realized the things which I "wanted" were going to have to wait. I actually had things I "needed" instead. I suppose this is one of the those days where one realizes things such as this are all apart of growing up.

I wanted a yoga mat ($20) and three bag laundry sorter on wheels ($35).... $45. Gift card = $40. You see my problem. I decided to look at that which I needed instead: a clock for my bathroom and socks.

I find it sad and strangely satisfying to have bought these items. Is that weird?

Forced Relaxation

I don't know about you, but usually when I burn the candle at both ends, something happens to force me to relax and rest.... I get sick. You'd think I'd learn, but no. I want to be able to do it all; after all, there's no one really do get things done but me. So, with my new found time, I've put on my elf hat and I'm working on making some Christmas gifts, while watching movies. I may even get my tree up today -- better late, than never.

I was supposed to go to a Christmas party tonight, but decided it wasn't the best idea. I don't want to be spreading my germies around. Though, I did just make a double batch of Pineapple Casserole. I'll be eating on that for a while, huh? Would you like the recipe? Just let me know. It's very good and easy to make.

The Day Santa Met Grant

Sweet little buddy had been looking forward to meeting Santa all morning long, that is, until he actually saw him.... and then Grant started screaming. I was holding him and he started to climb up my arm, trying to get away. Stephanie had her camera to capture the moment, so she told me to just put Grant on Santa's lap. I hated to do it, knowing he was so scared, but I quickly did and walked away. This is the result! It's priceless! Poor Grant.

I'M DONE!!

Strength in th...

By Meredith C Quintana

Book Preview

My labor of love is complete! Check out Blurb (click the above picture) for a 15-page preview and if you're so inclined, purchase your own copy of my devotional book. ZERO profit will go to me. Your cost is merely what it takes to be published. It's a collection of things I've written over the past four years. It's 160 pages long, filled with 12 different chapters and around 150 pictures that I've personally taken. It is my sincere hope that people will read it and be encouraged. I'm expecting God to show up and change people's hearts and minds!! To GOD be the glory!!

iTunes Shuffle Game

Here are the rules...

1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 random friends.
6. Anyone tagged has to do the same, because fun pointlessness spreads like a virus.

Instead of talking *about* the songs, I'm going to showcase a lyric reflecting the question. Though, obviously some don't match at all and some match so well, I laughed out loud!


If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
Unbreakable by Fireflight

"Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better"


How would you describe yourself?
Nobody's Listening by Linkin Park

"Told you everything loud and clear, but nobody's listening."


What do you like in a guy/girl?
All For You by Sister Hazel

"It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
Words can't say it, I can't do
Enough to prove, it's all for you"


How do you feel today?
Awakening by Daniel Bashta

"My soul is so thirsty
for the Living God"


What is your life’s purpose?
Be by Plus One

"And I'll turn your
Grey skies back to blue
'Cause there's nothing
I won't do for you "


What is your motto?
Time, Love and Tenderness by Michael Bolton

"nothing is a sad as it seems, you know"


What do your friends think of you?
Reputation by Derek Webb

" 'cause my last friend stopped calling months ago
i know i always make you wait around"


What do you think of your parents?
God of All of Me by Sandi Patty

"Giver of breath to my dying day"


What do you think about very often?
Great Big Mystery by Bethany Dillon

"Ten times a day I cry
Just to prove that I'm alive"


What is 2 + 2?
Building a Mystery by Sarah McLachlan

" And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?"


What do you think of your best friend?
Zak and Sara by Ben Folds Five

"She saw the future, she heard voices from inside"


What do you think of the person you like?
Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay

"I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide"


What is your life story?
Captivated by Shawn McDonald

" The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me
That's what draws me to You
I am, I'm captivated by You"


What do you want to be when you grow up?
Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross

"And I knew for sure
I was loved "


What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Imagination by Bethany Dillon

"Because I know my own mind
I set out with righteous indignation "


What will you dance to at your wedding?
I Love You Lord by Jason Morant

"I love you Lord
and I lift my voice
to worship you,
oh my soul rejoice. "


What will they play at your funeral?
Eagle's Wings by Hillsong

"I will rise
On eagle's wings"


What is your hobby/interest?
What If You by Joshua Radin

"What if I
Felt like I belong"


What is your biggest fear?
Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne

"I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head "


What is your biggest secret?
Something Like That by Tim McGraw

"I worked so hard for that first kiss"


What do you think of your friends?
Beyond Measure by Jeremy Camp

"I know that I've been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears"


What will you post this as?
The Garden by Handwritten Letters

"I'm no good at pretending I'm doing just fine"

My Book's Almost Done!!!

I’ve come to realize that the things I fear the most are usually the most rewarding. Fear has prevented me from doing a lot in my life. Fear of the unknown. Fear of ‘what if’. Fear of putting myself out there and getting made fun of. The biggest of all, fear of failure. But you know what; God didn’t give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (Romans 8:14-16). I’m nothing but His humble servant. If He wants me to do this project (and I fully believe He does), then who am I to let fear stand in the way of His glory?!

A few of you have asked what my book is all about? Well, it's a compilation of things I've written over the past four years; kinda like a devotional book. It'll also feature myraids of pictures I've taken.

It all started in 2004, when I hit a growth spurt in my walk with Him. I needed a way to get what was rolling around in my head onto paper. The only way I knew how to make sense of the senseless, was to write. It allows me to wipe away the fog which usually surrounds my vision. I followed my friend Drew Morris’ example and started writing VOTDs (verses of the day). It started out small; Bible roulette for me, completely random with no real direction. Then I decided to dig a little deeper and study a whole book of the Bible, verse by verse, and that’s the day it all changed for me. The Bible came alive in a way I’d never experienced before. I, too, was transformed (Romans 12:2).

Often these VOTDs were spring-boarded from a song I heard or a concept God was trying to teach me. As I sat down to write, I'd pray that God would speak through me.... I was never disappointed! Now, four years later, I feel I must create this project or I'm going to explode! It is my hope that by reading this book, you too will grow closer to Him and be challenged to live an intentional life.


If you are interested, it's available for purchase. I will be making no profit. I merely want God to have all the honor and glory. I will be placing the order before December 9th, as that's the last day you can order and still receive it by Christmas time. I will cover the costs of shipping and handling!

Prices: Softcover = $36.95 ; Hardcover, Dust Jacket = $49.95

When they arrive, I thought it would be fun to have a "book release" party; which I'll definitely let you know about closer to time. If you're interested at all, please let me know. Thanks!

Meredith