Thursday, October 9, 2008

Welcome to Heaven, Grandpa!!

My mom called me at work Wednesday morning to tell me the sad news. Grandpa had died in his sleep and was now in Heaven. I guess she thought it would be OK to tell me, as really, it's good news, but I immediately began to cry. "Are you crying?", she said. "Of course, I'm crying!" "Oh honey, it's a good thing, really." I hung up with mom and went to the hallway and just sobbed. Strangely enough, the one person I'd never thought I'd find comfort in, was there to hold me and let me cry. But I soon had to bury my feelings and get back to work.

Since then, I've been so busy rearranging my life, that I honestly haven't had time to stop and think about what this means. Except for that moment, I haven't allowed myself to feel. But now, sitting here, seeing memories of him flash through my head, my eyes fill with tears. My head knows he's hanging out with Jesus and has been made new! New eyes to see. New ears to hear! New body to move. New everything. He's probably found a garage somewhere and is working on cars again. Cars and my Grandmother were his two loves in life; besides his kids of course.

One of my memories is the day he took me out in the canoe. I'd heard about my sister's experience (where she fell out and he had to rescue her). So, I made sure to be very still. Though, I was being my chatty self and I want to say he got frustrated with me. I don't exactly remember all the details. I'm not sure why I even mention it now.

For as long as I can remember, every summer and Christmas, we'd all pile into the car and head down (DRIVE 9 hours) to the their house. But a few years ago, when his health started to fail. Not sick, but just getting old (he was 94 after all), I decided I wanted to remember him the way he used to be. (Plus, I'm allergic to their house, but that's another story.) I know this sounds crazy and COMPLETELY selfish of me, but I stopped going for visits. It made me too sad to see him like that. Surprisingly, my mom let me stay home. I'm not sure if she knew the real reason or not, but I tend to think she understood.

Anyway, back to Grandpa. He loved Jesus with all his heart, soul and mind. He raised his kids and grandchildren in the Lord. So, obviously, there's no doubt in my mind that he's in Heaven right now. I suppose that's why I'm OK. Really. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm OK. And I am. Is it wrong for me to feel that way? I mean, I know I distanced myself and pulled away, but he was still my Grandpa. But I guess, in more ways than one, him going Home in his sleep, truely is an answer to prayer.

Yesterday, when I was sad, God gave me a song. He always speaks to me through song, why would this situation be any different. He's faithful and good like that, you know? It's a song called, "What Could Be Better" by 33 Miles. Check out the lyrics below:

I've heard it said today
Is all we're given
Tomorrow may not come
So you better start living
I guess it all depends
On your point of view

Pardon me if I
Just don't listen
To everything the world
Say's I'm missing
There's nothing here and now
I'm gonna hold on to

Chorus:
I'm living in the days ahead
I'm already dancing on the streets of gold
Can't stop celebrating in my soul
I'm living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can't wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better

If home is where the heart is then I'm in Heaven
It's the promise of tomorrow
That I've been given
Who is waiting there I am living for

He's everything I love
And I believe in
And I can hardly wait
Just to see Him
And hear Him say well done
I couldn't ask for more

Life is full of ups and downs
Inside outs, round and rounds
Can't blame me for dreaming about it

I'm living in the days ahead
I'm already dancing on the streets of gold
Can't stop celebrating in my soul
I'm living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can't wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better


In the words of Ty Pennington, Welcome home, Glenn Gregg. Welcome home.

2 comments:

~Amanda~ said...

I'm so sorry about your grandfather, but what a comfort it is for you and your family knowing you will see him again one day!!

Staceystace said...

I'm sorry about your grandpa, Meredith. I pray for God's comfort to you and your family.