Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

Six little words... My mom used to say them all the time when I was little. It's funny, those things which I thought I'd never say, I find myself saying all the time. I find that interesting.

So much to say, where to start? Ok, first, recently I saw THE best movie I've seen in quite some time! Rent it. Buy it. Make sure you watch it. It gets the Meredith Seal of Approval! Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium I really wasn't expecting much, but boy was I surprised. It has a simplistic charm, which will have you laughing out loud moment, very thoughtful the next, then crying soon there after. There's a part in the beginning where Molly (played by Natalie Portman) realizes her life has become stagnent. She's basically going through the motions of life, but she's missing her "sparkle". Which she later discovers how to find.

But, this is me. I feel as though I've lost my sparkle. My zeal for life, if you will. I'm not depressed, per se. I just feel blah. I want things to change, yet don't know how to get over that 'hump'. I don't know how to incorporate those things which I'm most passionate about into everyday life. Work is just so exhausting. Surely there's a job out there that fits me? If that changed, would I be sparkly? Or is it a matter of getting out of myself. I'm obviously entirely too analytical and I overthink everything.

I need my sparkle back. How do I get it?

Second, money. You remember me telling you about my wreck last month. Well fast forward to present day and without rehashing any of the details (because I'm frankly sick of talking/thinking about it, even though you might not know what I'm talking about). Blessedly, I got a good tax refund back (at least for my poor self standards). I had plans for that money. I wanted to buy a few things, like new tennis shoes, which I desperately need. But, random things have come up and I've had to be an adult and take care of them. I shouldn't stress about money, I know. God has ALWAYS taken care of my needs! I've never once gone hungry, nor have my bills not been paid. But still I worry....

Third, my mom told me recently, "You have to discipline yourself to be disciplined." Wise words. I'm not disciplined in many or very few areas of my life. So, I'm starting out in little ways, such as filing. Oy! You see, last year, I put off filing all our post-closing stuff, because, let's face it, I'm lazy. I just didn't feel like it. Well, we got word last week that an Auditor was coming to our office this week and everything had to be filed away. Which of course, freaked and stressed me out. A few days and MANY hours later, I got mostly everything filed away. Miracle!

So today, when I received a stack, no lie, a foot deep. My first thought was, I'll do it tomorrow. Then I said to myself, self, you've got to discipline yourself to be disciplined. So, I organized it and got everything filed away. You just don't know how huge that was. I'm very proud of myself.

Fourth, life is interesting. I heard my Pastor say something recently, (paraphrase) 'if you're always wanting what is on the other side of the fence, be careful, the reason that grass is greener probably means a higher water bill.' I'm jealous of all my married friends. I yearn to be in that type of relationship, but then I hear how they too are struggling with many of the same things I struggle with, as a single girl. It makes me think.

I am lonely and long to have a best friend, who will one day be a husband. I just want someone to share my life with. Is that too much to ask? I'm a great girl. I feel as though I've got so much to offer, but I'm invisible. At least, it often feels that way. Always one of the guys, never anything more. It makes me think somethings wrong with me... but that's just Satan getting at me. Go away, Satan. Your comments aren't welcome! God created me to be exactly whom He wanted me to be. And I know He's got the perfect plan all set up for me. Patience is the name of the game.

Well, that's a pretty decent update. I need to get to bed. Would love to hear how my blog friends are doing. Drop by and leave me a comment.

4 comments:

tammy said...

mer -- i have had your blog on my rss feed for a while now. i love keeping up with what you've got to share.

if you don't mind, i've added a link to your blog on my new blog that i just launched: www.theinklingnetwork.com. see what you think...

for the record: i see a lot of sparkle in you. like, a lot. i definitely relate to the "blah" feeling, but it comes & goes, while the sparkle factor is definitely still there -- it may be just a little harder to find at the moment.

i'm looking forward to us getting together soon. i'm reading your votds right now... love it.

Poet4Him77 said...

Tammy,

First of all, you are a precious friend to me and I'm eternally thankful for you! Your comment just brought tears to my eyes! :)

Yes, it's perfectly fine for you to spread my blog around. I saw that you'd posted a new note about it and planned to read today. I love anything that you do, so I'm sure this will be fun to read as well.

Thanks for saying I sparkle. That means a lot to me. I feel like it's *in* me, but is a little tarnished these days. I can't wait to get together with you and get this book in motion. I'm sure that'll help me sparkle again. (Help me remember my passion and love of writing, you know?)

I love you friend!!

~Amanda~ said...

Hey girl, all of us girls have some sparkle in us, we just forget it sometimes. I "forget" alot! But we have an awesome Heavenly Father who loves us and gives us that sparkle. It's the sugar and spice in us! Don't let the evil one get you down (I know..preaching to myself too)! Keep your eyes on and lean on the ONE who made you!

He also knows the desires of your heart!! Keep trusting in Him for His timing b/c He wants nothing but the absolute best for you!! He is out there...just keep trusting! :)

Emily said...

hey:) havn't been by in awhile, glad to catch up a little. I have a friend who is still single and I know she struggles from time to time. She has done so many awesome things for the Lord that she couldn't have done with a family. I don't know how you feel, but I hear you:)
I have been through a rough time lately...my mom passed away 4 weeks ago from ovarian cancer. I have written about it on my blog some. God is with me...
Talk soon:)