I pretend that I'm strong. At least, I try to convince myself of this fact. I've also always tried to do everything on my own; though, obviously that doesn't work out so well. Contrary to this blog, I actually don't like to talk about myself, nor burden others with the things I'm going through. But His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses. ("My God is so big! So strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God can not do!")
I am abundantly blessed. Roof over my head. Car to get to work. Heck, a job to pay for these things. I never go hungry and somehow, my bills always get paid. Despite all this and for no apparent reason at all, I've always had a hard time trusting God. I can't explain it. No tramatic childhood story to give reason why this is true. It just is. I feel silly for even admitting it now. But anyway, things have been happening lately which lead me to a place where I have to trust that everything's going to be OK. My first instinct is to freak out and try to control things; which, as we all know, never works.
I went to the dentist today - no cavities, yeah! But, I've been putting off something that's going to be VERY costly. (I have to get two crowns. I grind my teeth at night and have worn down my back teeth to almost nothing... tmi?) Thankfully, I think my insurance will cover a good bit of it, but I'm still going to be poor for a while. I told my mom about it and she said, "If you're not good to your teeth, then they'll be false to you." (Get it?) I love my mom.
God already is providing for me. . . Tonight, for some reason, I actually answered the phone without screening the call. It turned out to be Nelson market research. Wouldn't you know it, I'm exactly the target age they are looking for. All I have to do is fill out a journal of the TV I watch for a week and send it back in. Also, I get to make any comments I want about how TV could be improved. (Can we say more family oriented programs?) Oh and for my 'trouble', they are paying me $40! Isn't that amazing! $40 is a lot of money for me!
So, how can I keep from singing His praise? I'm amazed by the way He loves me.