I wrote this... what seems like a lifetime ago. Do you ever feel as though "something" is about to happen? You don't know what, but you can just feel it in your bones? It's like, for me, I can tell when it's going to rain, as my joints ache. Well, in the same way, I'm aching. God's up to something. I can just tell.
Regardless of how I feel in other areas of chaos in my life, I know-without a shadow of a doubt-that my Creator is up to something. He has plans for my life and for yours. I mean, stop and think about that for a minute. The CREATOR of EVERYTHING has a plan for your life! It brings tears to my eyes to even think about it. God, why in the world, would you choose to use me?? I don't understand your love. Unending. Unfailing. Forever. You amaze me. I'm sorry I don't tell You more often just how much you mean to me and how I'm so thankful You chose to save me.
So, I wrote this "poem" during another time in my life, when I felt that "ache". And wowy! Did God every use me. Out of, I don't know how many people, my poem just happen to be picked to be the theme for this youth conference, "The Verge". It almost seems surreal now to think about it.
What amazes me most is that no matter the person, no matter what you've done in your past or how you think you're invisble and no one sees you, your Father in Heaven SEES you. Don't think for one moment you aren't precious in His sight! What's funny to me is that God continues to use me, even when, especially when I don't deserve it.
Again, I'm telling you, God's up to something. I'm excited to see what the next journey for me is. It's never an easy journey. Pilgrim and I have a lot in common sometimes, but oh, the rewards, they are immeasurable. I might not see them until Heaven and then, I'm only going to give them back to Jesus anyway. But the mere fact He desires to use me, blows me away.
I wanted to revisit this poem that quite honestly, changed my life. May it be a blessing to you as well.
On The Verge
Meredith C. Quintana
Do you ever feel as though you’re on the verge of something great?
It’s a restless anxiety
A feeling of impending excitement
Thoughts and ideas run through my brain a million miles a minute
I step out in faith
Is this what I’m supposed to do God?
Is this all right?
I continue walking along the path
Slowly putting one foot in front of the other
Just hoping that greatness is over the next ridge
Off in the distance I see the future
It’s big and grand
Is that my destiny?
Only God knows my future is.
Only He knows the greatness that I could become
But really, as long as I’m in His will, I’m great
As long as I’m walking in faith, shouldn’t that be all that matters?
Not by the worlds standards…
We’ve come so accustomed to living in this world
That we now think like the world
If just for one day, we could see what He sees
Hear what He hears
How often do we stop focusing on ourselves long enough to realize the needs in this world?
People are hurting, blindly roaming around
Seeking hope in a hopeless world
With needs no one sees but Him
Who really cares about me?
Would anyone notice if I were gone?
Where will the hurt end?
When will we realize that we aren’t here to live our lives?
We are here to tell others about Him.
Tell them about His unconditional love
How many people have you told about Him lately?
Have you stopped living selfishly long enough to live selflessly?
What if the next person you met, you told them about your Savior?
What if He blessed you with the ability to listen to peoples spiritual needs?
Would your life be any different?
Would it freak you out enough to think you were going crazy?
Or would you realize what a blessing and a gift He granted you?
What if you woke up tomorrow morning and you had this gift?
How would your life change?
All around you, voices of hopelessness and agony would fill the air
Just looking around at someone, you’d hear their real pains
The things no knows but God… and now you
Would you address their hurt?
Tell them that there really is Someone who loves them unconditionally
Just as they are, no matter their past
Would you seize the Divine appointment He’s brought across your path?
Or would you just go about your daily life, as if nothing was different?
Would you ignore that still soft voice?
"Speak to that man over there. He needs My help."
"But Father", I whisper into the quiet void. "What am I going to say?"
Through the gentle breeze, I hear Him, "With Me all things are possible."
My brain connects the right synapses, which in turn tells my right foot to take a step forward
…then the left…
…and the right…
The next thing I know, I’m standing before this man.
"Excuse me, sir", I say, with shaky confidence. "I know you don’t know who I am but it was impressed upon my heart to share something with you. There’s Someone who loves you unconditionally. No matter what has happened in the past… what you’re doing currently, or what the future holds. I know Someone who will love and care for you regardless."
The man looks at me, and incredulously states, "Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m not interested!" The man abruptly turns around and starts to walk away. Before he goes too far, I say, "You know, I know you feel as though there’s no hope, no reason to go on, no purpose…"
As the words hang in the doubt-filled air, he slowly turns around. Looks at me, almost through me, and with tears brimming in the corner of His eyes, He says in a shaky voice, "That’s exactly what I was just thinking."
"I know", I quietly say.
"But how?" he asks amazed.
"Like I said, Someone impressed upon my heart to come talk to you."
"I sure would like to meet this ‘Someone’."
I point to a bench near by, "Well, I’d love to tell you about Him."
As we sit on the bench and I tell him about this ‘Someone’. The glassy hopelessness begins to recede from his eyes and is replaced with tears of amazement and unworthiness. As his tears continue to stream down his face, he asks, "But why would this man die for me?"
With my own tears filling my eyes, I say, "Because… He loves you that much. If you had been the only one on this whole earth, He still would have suffered and died for your sins, past, present and future." The man, now openly weeping, "What do I have to do to get what you have?"
"Just ask… ask forgiveness for all that you’ve done, turn your back on your old ways of living, and tell others the things that I’ve told you. Tell them how He has changed your life. You know something, right now in Heaven, the angels are rejoicing over one more lost lamb has come to the Father and entered into His kingdom. From this day on, you are a new creature. Your old ways have passed away. You are changed!"
As I bask in the afterglow from this Divine appointment, I thank Him for using me… providing me with the words to say... and most of all, for dying for me as well. I am abundantly aware that He didn’t have to die on that cross, but He did. And I am eternally grateful.
So, as I look around me, on the road they call life. I realize it doesn’t matter what the world thinks about me or the things I do. All that matter is that I’m winning souls for Him.
So, what’s this verge of greatness?
It’s when I hear that still soft voice and decide to obey or not
No matter what occurs, He’ll receive all the honor and glory
But it’s in that moment… that people hang on the verge.
"On The Verge" Written May 2001