And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26 (English Standard Version)
Early today, I was listening to "You're All I Want" by Lifehouse and I had a "moment". I was instantly transformed back to that day in the van. You see, this song and I have a history. I remember the first time I heard it. I was on the first leg of what was to be a four-day journey across the country to Seattle, Washington. 10-hour plus days in the van gives this analytical girl way too much time to think and journal. We were hardly on the road when this song came on my CD player (predating my iPod). The song was apparently new at the time, as I'd never really listened to the words and were blown away by them. (FYI: I have to memorize the words to a song before I can really enjoy listening to it.) My eyes began to fill with tears. It was as if God was sending me off with a little love letter from Him.
God speaks to me all the time, but especially through music. When it comes to learning life lessons, music is like my secret decoder ring. It helps makes sense of the senseless. Often, words in a song will strike me to the core like nothing else. Back then I was standing at a precipice and had some decisions to make. I had to maneuver my way across an "Indian Jones" style bridge which took me from childhood to adulthood. But this trip was my one last hurrah of being a kid.
I learned a lot on that trip but most importantly I discovered what it meant to live life in utter and complete abandon, chasing whole-hearted after Him. I fell in love with Him all over again. Isn't it a shame it takes a road trip of isolation away from the media of everyday to bring life back into focus? Why is it to hard to keep Him at the center? I don't know about you, but my life is BUSY! From the moment I finally wake up, I hit the ground running. The next thing I know it's nearly bedtime. Whew! Where did the day go?
In my life, I feel like I'm on another precipice. But this time, I'm in the vortex of a whirlwind. Sometimes it feels like life is spinning out of control, in that, *blink* it's ten years later and what do I have to show for myself? Mostly, I suppose there's a feeling of discontent; like I should have done more. I want to have done something that matters. I want to have made a difference. I don't merely want to exist. I want to thrive!
I'm sure you've seen this skit on YouTube before, but it NEVER ceases to bring me to tears. I think it brings this post to a close: