Close of Autumn

I can find a song for every aspect of life. Certain lines jump out at me and feel like a constant theme. Perhaps one day I can make a list of "Top Favorites" in my life, but until that happens, I was listening to my iPod the other day and this great song by Caedmon's Call played:

When I'm cold and alone all I want is my freedom
And a sudden gust of gravity
I stop wailing and kicking
Just to let this water cover me, cover me
Only if I rest my arms, rest my mind
You'll overcome me and swell up around me
With my fighting so vain, with my vanity so fought
I'm rolling over

'Cause in just the same way
That the stream becomes swollen
Swollen with cold up over the ground
When my heart draws close to the close of autumn
Your love, your love abounds

All the time I'm thinking
Wondering how would it be
To breathe in deep
I guess I need to be careful
When I ask for a drink
(Just might get what I ask for)
And I know just what you'd say to me
That's why I don't ask you
What would I ask you?
I'm like a bullheaded boy these days
Crying my toy's gone...
You're shiny and new

'Cause in just the same way
That the stream becomes swollen
Swollen with cold up over the ground
When my heart draws close to the close of autumn
Your love, your love abounds

Guess I'll drop my anger here
Before I float away
And the chains around me
An awful lot of talking
I don't leave you much to say
You didn't ever leave me
And my greatest fear
Was you'd leave me here
A long time back my feet
Could touch the bottom

...6 Years Later

I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about what day it is today. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sleeping in, as I didn't have class that day, and my mom comes crashing into my bedroom to tell me the news. She told me a plane just crashed into the Twin Towers. In my sleepy stupor, I thought I was either dreaming or she was playing a trick on me. But, before she left my room, she turned my TV on.... and there before my eyes, was a sight I'll never forget. Frankly, I don't want to tell you what I saw. We've all seen it. We all have witnesed the horror. Even as I write these words, my eyes are filling with tears...

On a day like today, it really puts things into perspective. War has always been in another country, making it harder to really feel the heartache associated with it. But September 11th changed all that.

For the record, I'm so PROUD of our Armed Forces! We are free today because of their sacrifices, not only from the past, but also those who serve in Iraq right now. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I know you all aren't thanked nearly enough. Thank you for all you do, every day. You matter.

This morning on the radio, they had a play-by-play timeline of the events six years ago. As I washing my hair, I just began to cry. Cried for those who died and for the families they left behind. I can't imagine what that must have been like and frankly, I don't want to. Do you remember in the days following, time was so precious with family. The world really did stop turning... we stopped being so busy and just enjoyed the people we loved most. Wonder why it takes a tragedy for that to occur?

So, six years later, what's different? The optimist in me hopes that this tragedy didn't scar us for life, instead give us the strength to do what needs to be done. We remember the courage and the bravery of those on Flight 93. Would we have done the same? I hope. I think we honor them by living our life to the fullest. They wouldn't want us to continue to mourn them, but rather, get on with our lives. By the sheer fact we continue to thrive as a country only speaks to the determination of our resolve.

God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood
If tomorrow all the things were gone
I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars
to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that away.

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas
from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.,
There's pride in every American heart
and it's time we stand and say:

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

What Is Your Deepest Fear?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us
You're playing small does not serve the world
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you
We were all meant to shine as children do
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone
And as we let our own light shine
We unconsciously give the other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others

....Speech from "Coach Carter"

Where Were You?

Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning) by Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

The greatest is love
The greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

Daily Sufficient Grace

Grace by Silers Bald

My heart is so proud.
My eyes are so unfocused.
I see the things You've done through me
As great things I have done.
And now You gently break me.
I cry just like a baby.
You hold me as my Father,
And mold me as my Maker.

And I ask You
How many times will You pick me up.
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness aboud?
And You answer, "My child, I love you,
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient, grace."

At times I may grow weak.
And feel a bit discouraged.
Knowing that someone somewhere
Can do a better job.
For who am I to serve You?
I know, I don't deserve You.
But that's the part, that burns in my heart,
And keeps me hanging on.

And I ask You
How many times will You pick me up.
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness aboud?
And You answer, "My child, I love you,
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient, grace."

And You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning
About what Your grace really means.
How all of my transgressions
Were paid at Calvary.
So instead of trying to repay You,
I'm learning to simply obey You.
By giving up my life to You
For all that You've given to me.

And I ask You
How many times will You pick me up.
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness aboud?
And You answer, "My child, I love you,
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient, grace."

"My daily sufficient grace."

Worst Case Scenario

I previously wrote about my roach trials.... and learned entirely too much of the subject! Well, I'd begun to have a false sense of security. I haven't seen a dead nor live roach in about a week. I started going barefoot again. Not jumping at every movement I see out of the corner of my eyes. (Though, honestly, I still turn on lights before I go into a room.) But as I was heading upstairs, all that security came crashing down around my socked feet. There on my kitchen counter... was a roach!!! ACK!

Now, it's not like I live in a pigsty or anything. I'm really pretty clean. I rarely leave dishes in my sink. Put dirty items straight into the dishwasher. I don't leave food out or crumbs around. I disenfect regularly. So, it's not like there's a blinking sign saying, "Open all night". Perhaps they are just attracted to the possibility of water? Perhaps because it's been so hot, they seek shelter? Whatever the reason, I'm not really interested. What I am interested in, is for them to leave and NEVER come back!!!

Armed with my "knowledge", I felt secure in my ways of killing the creatures, but then I read this (see below) yesterday. Oy!!

Let these dry bones dance now!!

I'm a connoisseur of music; always have been, always will be. Often, God uses song lyrics to get my attension. I've learned many a lesson about His grace, mercy and love through this avenue of study. Today wasn't any different.

I'm sitting in traffic, jamming to my iPod, windows down, sound turned up and this one line from Dashboard Confessional's "Bend And Not Break" always makes me smile, it says, "Talented at breathing...." Why does that make me smile? Think about it. Of all the things to say you're talented at, one doesn't usually list "breathing" as one of them. The lyrics to the first verse are as follows:

I catalog these steps now
Decisive and intentioned
precise and patterned specifically to yours.
I'm talented at breathing
Especially exhaling
So that my chest will rise and fall with yours

That got me to thinking. If you disregard the real meaning of the song and look at it through the eyes of a child; a child of God. You'll see that He merely wants us to follow in His footsteps. To be so in tune with Him, that we not only walk in His steps, but also allow Him to breath on us.

Have you read, "The Chronicles of Narnia"? Or have you seen the movie? Do you remember when Alsan breaths on the children? One author describes it this way,

The characters who are touched by the lion's warm and fragrant breath don't begin speaking in tongues or shouting hallelujah. Rather, Aslan's breath serves to reassure them (as it does with Lucy after Aslan's “resurrection”) or even bring them back to life (as it does with the creatures who have been turned into stone by the White Witch).

How many times have I ignored that Gentle breeze and tried to reason or explain it away? How often am I too busy to know that He's speaking to me? Like the characters in Narnia, I too have been turned to stone at one point or another and have been in need of "Aslan's" healing breath.

Breathe on me, Breath of God. Please, breathe on me....

God, the Master, told the dry bones, "Watch this: I'm bringing the breath of life to you and you'll come to life. I'll attach sinews to you, put meat on your bones, cover you with skin, and breathe life into you. You'll come alive and you'll realize that I am God!" ~ Ezekiel 37:5-6 (The Message)

You know how you'll hear something over and over but never really get or understand it? I just had a moment of clarity!!! Daniel Bashta at my church sings "Dry Bones", based on the very verse above!!! I get it, Father!!! I get what you're trying to teach me. My bones have been oh so dry for far too long, and you long for me to WAKE UP!

"Come Breathe your Life into me. Fan the flame, oh mighty rushing wind. Let these dry bones dance now!"

I learned a new trick!

I love to take pictures! I've gotten out of the habit recently, but wanted to share some of my past favorites! See what you think!

Labor Day

Today is Labor Day. Yeah, no work! Though, ironically, I did nothing but work today. That is, after I woke up without my alarm clock, around noon! Noon! Can you believe it? I haven't done that in forever! I wanted to have a fun adventure, but all I ended up doing was household chores! I did...

• Four loads of laundry
• Vacuumed the upstairs
• Watched some US Open
• Cleaned/disenfected the kitchen
• Waxed the hardwood/kitchen floors
• Watched "White Oleander"
• Took out the trash
• Disenfected the inside trash can
• "Shimmied" the TV to try to get a better reception (that involved a ladder and praying that my gaurdian angel would look over me)
• Watched Oprah for the first time in forever
• Folded all the clean laundry
• Mowed the back yard
• Watered what I believe to be dying plants, but hopefully there's still some life in them
• Had pity on the neighborhood cat and gave her a can of tuna
• Watched a few episodes of "Dirty Jobs"
• Took an unscheduled nap on the couch

Which, pretty much leads me to now.... it was a good day. I got a ton accomplished!! I'm tired and a little sore, which honestly is a great feeling! I'm really not looking forward to waking up and heading into work, but such is life. I actually left a pile of work under my desk to deal with when I got home. Oy!!

Tickle Me Grant

How precious is this?!? My sister discovered Grant is ticklish!!

I always savor the moments I spend with him on Saturdays. Like how he'll crawl over to me and put his arms up in the air to be held... or when I go to put him down, he fusses and still wants to be held by me... or when I rock him to sleep by singing praise songs... or when I'm leaving to go home, he'll wave "bye bye" at me. I love this kid!! I just had no idea I could love someone so much.